This message brought to you by Oxycodone.
I have had a very rough 48 hours. Luckily . I HAVE A VERY GOOD Dr. And an equally amazing husband and surgical team.
Jan 4th Matthew and I flew out of Kalispell to chicago.
We got our hotel and I set everything up I could. I read so many amazing stories about women having perfect implant removals with barely even a bit of pain. These women proudly proclaimed they only took tylenol and no pain killers. Of course I was expecting to be the same way! I am a badass. Right??
I hit the gym for the last time…I had been working out hard to prep my body for being a month long slug.
Jan 5th was my preop. The husband of the fucking year came with me. He wanted to hear everything, how to care for me, surgical info, the works. I was scared, but SO excited for this to end. Years of pain. Deformity…and fear. Get em out! I did learn I’d have more scars than originally planned with a lollipop shape, but I digested it quickly and accepted it. My doctor does beautiful work with explants and I was excited.
I had so much fear….
Jan 6th I awoke at 4am to make it to surgery by 7:30 am . I was scared beyond anything. I fear going under so badly. In fact, it’s my number one fear in life….that I will wink out of existence. They gave me some happy juice so I would calm down a bit before wheeling me in. . Like many before me…I dont remember jack shit! Well, I do remember telling someone I sell Avon and left entertainment because they’re all buttholes. That’s it.
Of course, it was over quickly for me…but about 4 hours of waiting for my husband. He met me in my hospital room. Due to my history of the worst luck on earth, I didnt want to chance NOT being at the ER So I paid a night out of pocket. I went back and forth on this decision. If so many women were virtually pain free, wouldnt I be after getting it done?? Should I waste over 600 dollars on a room when I have read so many stories of perfect warrior women doing cartwheels around their jobs and kids after an explant? I was questioned why I wasn going back to my hometown to heal, the works. I know my body. I don’t heal well, anything bad that could happen? Well, it usually happens to me.
The worst was over. My fear of being out under behind me. Now, it was time to heal! That is when the pain started. My husband was amazing, helping me drink and eat. However, I wondered why I was hurting so bad when so many other women proclaimed how easy it all was. I wondered if I was just a wuss.
Dr. Mussat sent me pictures of what she took out of me. My right implant? Fully ruptured leaking silicone in my body for god knows how long. It was also a very different color than the other. People used to not believe me when I told em I got implants for a size difference, so look at these and eat shit, assholes!
I was so happy to have some gross toxic sack leaking in my body taken out. Yet, my pain got worse. My chest swelled so badly, you cant see my clavicle. My hands and fingers looked like sausages. My eyes, cheeks, everything was swelling.
I worried people were thinking I was being a diva. I felt embarrassed everytime I’d hiss in pain or hit the nurse button. The nurse shift changed and I got a nurse named Eileen. She got it. She walked into me weeping and moaning, I couldnt gloss over it anymore, I was in agony. She pumped me full of pain meds to get some relief. Dr. Mussat came in to see how I was doing and inmediately shook her head. I had a hematoma so big it looked like I got only one fake titty! Oddly, it was in the boob she did the least work on…the one that wasnt ruptured. Hematomas happen. It’s not the fault of anyone or anything but my own body’s response to trama. Of course, NO LUCK ME not only had insurance deny my surgery…for getting rid of my titty that had popped and oozed inside me…AND I needed two surgeries in a day!! I tried to negotiate NOT going to surgery again with the Dr. Good ole drugged up me….luckily, she was having none of it. My nurse was so empathetic and kind, she was exactly what I needed. Combined with my husband and my Doctor, I felt people gave a shit and that it was ok from me to admit I was hurting. I was, I mean, that hurt more than both boob jobs and the myomectomy I had in my past.
Emergency surgery. No waiting….right now. Talk about being scared shitless! I just wept and cried. Why is my body always such a dick with everything!?!? Matthew was there every moment comforting me. I know he was aware of how afraid I was of a complication and here it was. I wanted it all to just be over. Now I was going in not even 8 hours later for more surgery. A night crew was being assembled to cut me open again. I had eaten…drank tons of fluids. I thought they’d have to wait. Urgent…no waiting. I had an all woman team which made me happy. My anesthesiologist from that morning was back. She gave me a shot of what tasted like sour patch kids without sugar. Yuck! I guess it was to keep me from puking and drowning. My mother in-law, a nurse of over 40 years, said it was no wonder I was in so much pain. I had a hematoma the size of a double D tit! She also explained to matthew that this just happens with the human body sometimes. Matt tried to hand me the phone, but just hearing her voice sent me weeping and I waved it away. I had no desire to cry with my chest hurting that badly. I had a huge feeling I should stay overnight in the ER. I felt it in my gut and it most likely saved my titty. Also, Dr. Mussat being so attentive certainly didnt hurt! I cant express how happy I am that I picked her.
The anesthesiologist explained to me since I had just been under, eating and drinking AND on drugs, she could not sedate me prior to wheeling me in. Surgery number two would require me to lay myself down sober and aware on my operating table. I wont lie, that wasnt my favorite experience. They’d knock me out quickly and for as little time as possible because it isnt the best for your body to go through twice in a short time.
Meanwhile, my husband is being a BOSS. Doting on me, worried, up since 4 am.(it was now 10)..the poor guy. I was at least out half the day! Since no one gets 10pm surgeries, he was allowed in the pre and post op room to wait for me. He kept in contact with my Ma and Dad which I asked him to do. Both would trickle down the information to people in my family. I cant fathom how he was feeling, watching me go in to number 2. If the roles were switched I’d be beside myself! The doctor and nurses let him touch my face and talk to me up till they wheeled me back to hop on the table. I remember battling the anesthesia cause I am claustrophobic and didnt want the mask on my face. Let me just say again how great it was to have a team of women. Truly. Talk about empathy and compassion.
When I awoke, there was Matt. I felt so beaten up physically, but he pushed himself to the point of delirium to make sure I was ok. They wheeled me back up to my room and gave him a chair to sleep in suitable for someone who is 5’2. I’d post a pic of how pathetic a 6’6 behemoth looks sleeping in a chair made for ants, but he’d kill me. (Edited note…permission granted)
All night, any moan or groan, hed awake and try to help me. It is currently 4:30 in the morning and I am too sore to sleep. My throat feels ravaged by tubes…I’m swollen from my hips to my shoulders..and bruising is starting too. I have drains for 5 days. I left the hospital immediately. They expected me to stay another 3 to 4 hours. NOPE! I was DONE.
I am so happy to have that leaking sack of yellowed silicone taken out of my body. I will be interested in any of my mystery illnesses clear up. found Dr. Mussat via searching reviews and realself.com she is superb and does not mess around when something is deemed necessary. There are support groups touting “doctor lists” please take that lightly and with suspicion. No one who runs these explant groups are medically trained and the bias opinions of others should never form YOUR choice. I say avoid them (support groups pushing doctors) and stick with review sites. People are wack jobs.
Now, I rest and I heal. Mussat had to remove some of my bigger boob to even them out due to the scar tissue she took from my right. I am guessing I will be flat as a pancake. Surgery for “looking hot” is fucking stupid! The risks and complications that can come with each one seem to be ignored by the next Brazilian buttlift patient. I am very interested in how I will feel now that I dont have silicone spilling around my heart and lungs. I am beyond grateful for my doctor, nurses and anesthesiologist for making sure I was ok…and doing what they had to do to ensure that no matter the time.
Now….anyone who wants to get a hold of me, buy Avon. Anything…just….
For a little bit, at least….
Related News
Here is a little taste of the inside of our home! I decked out Matthew’s sound booth! Hahaha. …
I think many of us feel more alone than we ever have in our entire lives. When you …
I smoked for 20 years. Yep. My first cigarette I stole from my Mother. I watched her smoke …
59 Comments
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Hoping the removal will give you relief. Wow how lucky you are to have such a great partner in Matt. May your recovery go well 🙂
God what a journey. I’m so ducking sorry it was so hard. I also don’t heal well or react well to stuff and this is relatable. Poor Matthew. He must have been beside himself. I hope at least joe you’re through the worst you can heal and start to feel better x
You are such a trooper and very real to be afraid of the hospital. I am happy you’re taking your health into your own hands by making the decision to get them removed. You fought through the fear to get them removed and actually did it ! Sucks you had to do 2 surgeries OMG. I cannot imagine. Get well soon ❤️
You should be so proud of yourself! Way to trust you but! You are so brave. I’m praying your recovery goes smoothly from here on out. Thanks for the update. We’re all thinking of you.
You are and have always been a warrior. Hoping hella much that the removal gives your body the relief it needs and that your recovery is quick and as painless as it can be. Much love and strength to your family, Matthew and you. Keep kicking ass lady.
Thank you so much for always sharing your journey, hopefully your raw posts will help some beautiful young girl not make unnecessary changes to their body.
Sucks so much that you ended up in an emergency surgery, I’m so glad you stayed in the hospital! Hopefully from here things will only get better with your health. Rest up girl, all the best for your recovery and huge high fives for Matt, he’s a champion!
Had to giggle with the “look at these and eat shit, assholes!” hahaha boom!
Feel better sweet Adri! You went through hell and deserve your rest. You truly are a warrior ♥️
My thoughts have been with you during this time. As a nurse, I hate to see anyone in such pain, and empathize with that traumatizing fear. I so respect your honesty and the way you have shared your journey. Love and continued support through your recovery
Wishing you the best in your recovery. Today I have been married 37 years. You and Matt have found the true meaning of
for better and worse, way early. True love ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am glad you’re ok. How fucking scary. Here’s to a speedy recovery.
Jeez…Get well soon!
Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
Thank you for sharing your story. This is Scary! I can’t imagine having to go through something like that…willingly! But, you, and woman, are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. You were right to listen to your instincts. I hope that this is the end of mystery illnesses, pain and disfigurement for you. I hope that your healing goes well and that you start feeling more like yourself! Special award goes to husband of the decade Matthew! What a loving and caring person to have on your life journey! Get better soon.
Get well soon, here’s to a speedy recovery! So sorry you had to have complications but you are on the mends now ! Iam woman hear me roar! Matt you are a great husband !
Love you. Praying for a swift and easy recovery. Will be buying more Avon soon.
Wow Warrior you are. Hoping for a speedy recovery girl. 💗
Adri – a competent, caring doctor and staff definatly makes a shitty situation a little better. Throw in a caring mate and you have the recipe for a good healing process. I have had 2 surgeries similar due to breast cancer so I sympathize. Sending much love and positive vibes your way.
Glad you’re through everything and on your way to heal. Now relax and take care of yourself.
You are amazing ❣️
Wow, isn’t it amazing when you know your own body and listen to it and have others listen to you?! Continue healing and we’ll continue sending you loving and positive thoughts your way!
I had a hematoma in my left breast after bilateral mastectomy in April. Happened at home, day after my surgery – passed out twice and had to have blood transfusion after they removed it at the hospital. Your story brought me back to mine and totally resonated with me.
I felt so emotional for you reading this. Especially when you didn’t want to complain about being in pain, and insurance denial. What a rollercoaster. I wish you well in healing.
Darlene Seals
the strength you have shown in the past and are currently giving the world is inspiring,,,, so sorry for you having to go thru so much…. just know that thru this and showing other women the importance of getting rid of toxicity within both physically with this surgery and mentally as you have been doing for so long that you are saving lives – personally you helped me to talk about sexual abuse a few years ago and to help me finally deal with what happened and talk about it… even though ive never met you you , you gave me support thru your comments on facebook…. wishing you a speedy and healthy recovery and just know you do make a difference and are more than the first winner of antm and a top avon seller…. you do inspire –
You are amazing and I truly appreciate your candor. I have long been considering the explanation surgery.
You set a great example of taking care of yourself. I hope the people that need to hear this are listening. It’s wonderful to hear about the support your husband has provided. I hope that from this point your healing is fast!
Thank you for sharing through all your pain and discomfort. Hope you heal fast and can get home quickly.
I’m jealous of what an amazing husband you have and no matter how “flat as a pancake” you end up being now the PERSON…SOUL, HEART AND MIND he married and loves is who wakes up and goes home with him and trust me our chests aren’t why they luv us. If you had half your brain taken out and went home I’d say UGH OK GOOD LUCK but girl…your gold and lifes gonna be suck and awesome knowing you are all you now!!! You killed it! And for that I’m signing up for some avon!! My man luvs their cologne. In honor of all of us with our own “Matt”s (ironically MINE is a Matt lol) I’m gonna reward my guy with smelling good lol cause deep down I know he’d be there for me like yours was! Kudos Matt for taking great care of our girl! You’re the poster for what support looks like!
Sending you so much healing vibes and love!!! Rest and take care if you and allow others to help take care of you.
After reading the entirety of your bout, I feel that your experience should be known. The complications that can come with this type of surgery. Thank you for sharing your experience. I pray that your recovery will be less painful. You’re a very strong woman and having a strong husband to boot is fantastic. Your doctor did amazing. Again prayers being sent to you.
Although I’m sorry for all the pain I’m so happy for you to have that junk out of your body. Praying for quick healing and an end to any and all complications.
I heard all the “nothing hurts! and the , “It’s completely numb!” from others too. No such luck for me! Dec 30th I had my EXPLANT surgery done. I was in agony, even with all the pain meds, for 5 days. I’m happy to be on this side of it! And I’m proud of you!!!!
Excellent blog!! Your journey has been long, but finally its DONE!!! Your body will begin healing Now and hopefully will heal as a whole now!! Sending healing prayers as you get through the rest of this week with little to no complications. Just Rest Rest Rest!! Sleep helps the body heal!! Hugs!! 💗💗
I am joining you…my explant was yesterday, Jan 7.
We are at very different stages, though. My implant was a left side, post mastectomy to even me out! I have had problems with it almost since the beginning because of scar tissue. But it was only in for three years.
I wish you well in your recovery. Onward and upward.
As I said before I’ll say it again…..An inspiration to women and humankind!!!!!
You are so brave! So happy that those unhealthy things are out of your body!
No ciggerates, alcohol, drugs, eating healthy , working out and now this. 🙂 Also no vanity fake bullshit.
You are healthy and REAL.
I hope you know how amazing you are.
You inspire me to be my best! And I’m sure you do others!
Thank you for sharing your story.
I hope you heal quickly and as painless as possible. Glad you have a good man by your side to help you get thru it.
Adrianne,
You have been through more than most people could ever imagine or endure. Your inner strength, candor, and fortitude is so beautiful. It is truly inspiring to see the life you have regained and are living now. You deserve all the love and happiness your heart can hold. May you have complete healing and renewed health. Prayers for God’s blessings upon you.
Mary from Virginia <
Congrats and hope for a speedy recovery. Well done Mathew for stepping up and showing how a man should take care of his wife. You two are the kind of people we need in this world.
Lots of love from sunny South Africa.
Thank you dear Adrianne for sharing your journey through all this. I wish you all the best in the healing process and moving on from all this. So happy for you the implants cannot make you sick anymore.
Many women like myself can learn from you to love themselves for who are and that you don’t need plastic surgery or breast implants to make you feel beautiful.
I think you are a beautiful person inside and out.
You are so very blessed to have a great loving and caring husband and he is blessed just as well to have you for his wife.
Again, thank you for sharing all your truths in your life it has helped me to grow and be a better person for myself.. I could listen to you all day!
MUCH LOVE to you both and Luna and Lucy.
Thank you for sharing this very personal ordeal. I am so glad those aweful things are out of your body. Besides Avon is there a GoFundMe account where we can help with your bills?
Sending prayers for a quick recovery and praying that you can rest, heal and feel relief soon!
Looks like me and you have the same kind of luck. If we didn’t have bad luck we wouldn’t have any luck at all!! I’m so very happy the poison has been removed from you and your on the road to recovery.
Sending you so much love ❤️❤️
What a story. I got squeamish reading it. Sending good vibes for a speedy recovery. You are fortunate having one hell of a husband beside you through this entire ordeal. Thanks for sharing your story this fast after 2 nerve wracking surgeries. You are a true warrior. We all look forward to an update when you are well rested and feeling like yourself again. You have inspired me to think about explanting. Thank you.
Reading this was definitely overwhelming. Glad those days are behind you, hope you heal nicely. Sending good vibes!
I have a supporter feature on my Facebook page for exclusive content…but Iwould never take something for nothing
This was scary as shit to read.i can only imagine e what it felt like to go through. Hats off to your husband for being awesome and your nurse and crew. Im so glad I read this. I hit 30 and thought I needed some surgery to lift and get bigger. . This is a reminder that boobs aren’t what makes you great. It’s just cosmetics. Thank you for being so honest. Ill keep my 2rd decade chest and just accept them as they are. . best wishes on your recovery.
Hi Adrianne – my wife, Kimberly Parilese, is a huge fan and supporter of yours. She told me about your blog & I just read your story with my jaw on the floor. You are a fucking BOSS & my heart goes out to you for this ordeal. Please recover, R&R & peace!!! Thank you for the in-depth sharing of this very personal ordeal. I truly hope other women take heed & aren’t bullied into implants.
Glad you got those shit bags out, I’ve followed you a looong time. When your on you feet again I could use your help with a project. I’ve got it ready to go live but want to talk to you first.
It will help grow awareness of BII in local communities, through health problems, women who have symptoms and the general public. There are lots of moving pieces.
I know you said leave you alone, but I dont listen. I need help! These women need help! We’ve built a community of people who are waiting for me to roll out this program.
http://Www.biiawarenesscampaign.com is the site but its not live yet
I’d love to share my store with you. 😚
Me 6 months ago, I was bedridden 18hrs a day:
https://youtu.be/6jSf7WE0aHQ
I’m so glad you are on the otherside of surgery now. What a nightmare for y’all!! Now getting the recovery over with and getting totally well. Keeping y’all in my thoughts, prayers and sending positive healing vibes!
Debbie Redman
She. Beat my husband to subscribing to my page! Lol
Get well girl! Stay good to your body. You encourage all us women young and old to love ourself without proving to others for an existence.
I’m so sorry to hear about all of the complications you had. Can you sue the manufacturer for the rupture? Your journey is why I’m afraid of a reduction. Keep well and happy healing.
Oh my bad ass girlie… I’m so relieved to know that you will be on the mend and looked after properly!!! andthat your sexy Behemoth is right there by your side. Rest, look after you and heal up well sweetie. Know that you are loved and admired and respected beyond measure
Positive energies and vibes to you in your recovery. May you be restored to good health. Thanks for sharing your journey. It’s not often we hear about the dangers of implants.
I am recovering from explant surgery with you, lady! January 3rd was my eviction date, and I am so ready to get my life back. Hopefully you’re past all the complications and on the right track for healing. Here’s to our new itty bitties, our health and guh bye to the toxic bags that tried to kill us! 🙌🏼
I had my explant surgery in 2018. It was such a rough recovery (the drains were awful and I had a reaction to the tape that caused me to blister) and I didn’t think I’d ever heal or feel better, but I HAVE MY BODY BACK and feel amazing now!! Took almost a year for me to feel “normal”. My right one had to be scraped off my ribs and off muscle. That was the side that always hurt me. My symptoms are gone!!! I sometimes get mad at myself that I put my body through that. Don’t do it ladies! Happy you got yours removed and hope you feel much better.
As a mother of 3 daughters and 2 granddaughters ….. I continually teach and encourage them to love themselves from the inside out , I thank you ! You are wise for knowing your body and following your senses . your honesty and bravery is any inspiration to me . you are beautiful ! annie
I think that was great you had them out. I am 69 years old I have been seeing a young escort for several years. She in past six months got implants. She went from a C to with D and she’s only 5’2.” I always told her her breasts look just great C. But I guess she was pressured into it because of her profession. I just hope she doesn’t have problems like you had. Because I suffered a massive stroke 17 years ago, I do not work and do not have much money. I’m going to have to stop seeing her because I can’t afford it anymore. I actually love the girl. Maybe she will see me as a friend. Sincerely, Ralph
I just had my recalled implants removed and replaced on Monday. I’m not sure I should have replaced them, only time will tell. I had problems from day one with the recalled ones! I hope you find peace with your decision and you look amazing!
I am so sorry to hear what you went through. You are a beautiful person no matter what. I remember hearing years ago about you getting some implants and I thought that you were just so beautiful and didn’t even need them. But like a lot of women I could not see that beauty within me because of my small chest. I also had to undergo 2 surgeries in one day when I got my breast implants due to a hematoma. It was very traumatic. I had them for over 10 years and the last 2 years they were making me so sick. I also explanted Jan 6th just like you. I finally got the green light a couple of weeks ago to start doing light cardio. I haven’t been able to workout in years due to fatigue and really bad joint pain. I learned the hard way that NOTHING is worth jeopardizing your health. Unfortunately I had to go through something like this to appreciate my body. You are doing such an amazing job in bringing awareness to this issue. God bless you!