What. The. Fuck? Seriously, what actually happened to my body? I am COUNTING the number of items I eat and adding them to MyFitnessPal app, like I used to. I am taking in less calories than I need daily in order to lose weight. I am working out hard, drinking water and for the most part, putting all organic and healthy things in my body.
I FUCKING GAIN WEIGHT! I do not think I am fat. I in no way want to run around all ripped like I used to. My guy isn’t into the whole “shredded bitch” look. He thinks I was looking dudely, and I have to agree with him. Also, I am not into the life you have to live in order to look that way. Anyone you see sporting abs, ripped arms, etc? They are NOT eating delicious food treats and are obsessed with what they put into themselves to the point that it consumes their lives. I know this because for over ten years I did it. However, I have to cram my now larger ass into my wedding dress VERY soon. I simply wanted to shed 2 or 4 pounds so I can feel good. Do I lose weight? NO! I DID lose a half inch above my knee (REALLY wanted to) and a half inch on my calves (yay!) But there is no evidence of inch or weight loss past that. I have been dieting pretty hard for almost 3 weeks.
Losing pounds after 30 is NO easy task for a woman. Your body simply does not want to respond the way it did in your 20s. Also, your body does NOT want to be that thin and fit. It is unnatural and takes a lot of psychotic discipline. Thankfully, I am enjoying my new plump butt and so is my dude. I just didn’t think it would be this hard to shred a bit before the wedding. I am about to just go eat fucking cheeseburgers and fries. I stay the same when I do, so why the fuck not? I am not on tv. I am not running around on livestreams in tiny outfits. Who CARES? lol
I will always work out. I love it, but man, I am tired of living my life the way a fitness model does. Even going back to it for these three weeks has been pure torture. It’s a bland tasting hyper OCD lifestyle. Time for Taco Tuesday!
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You’re gonna look amazing either way. Like you said,you’re not on tv or anything so just just enjoy the things you love in life and leave working out as an option not a must do.
I am right there with you. I’m 38 and when I was 35 and moved in with my bf, gained 50 lbs! I don’t know where it came from and it won’t go away! been dieting, keeping track of calories and portions. I work out about every other day. I have arthritis, back issues, and rods in my legs so I have to have time to recover. but no matter what I do, I can’t lose more than 5-6 lbs.
Turned 35 last year and have been struggling to lose weight as well. I worked with a newbie personal trainer at a corporate owned gym and was only taking in 1100-1200 calories a day which was crazy and doing strictly weight and I lost 10 lbs and felt pretty awesome since that was the lowest I had been since kiddo #2 in 2006. Clearly, the problem was I had no nutritional guidance and gained all of that plus 3 in 4 months because the vicious cycle of treats and lack of gym time. Now I have a knowledgeable trainer and doing circuit training and following my macros but have actually gained a pound so the frustration is real! I feel like I wanna throw in the towel, it good Lord I would probably gain another ten just by looking at chili cheese fries. After 5 weeks I am getting my measurements done, so MAYBE I will feel a little better but I just wanna throat punch my hubs (not really) because he’s dropping pounds like it’s nothing! Keep your head up, you look amazing! But yes, after that 35 year peak it’s a daily struggle.
I’ve never been successful at losing weight. My entire dietary life has been captured in a written log or tracking app. But if you are happy, healthy and feel good…it doesn’t matter if you can’t lose the few pounds you wanted to. You look amazing, and have in every phase of your life. Your smile is genuine and radiant in your new life, and it’s worth it’s weight in gold.
Maybe try a different way of eating. my husband and i follow Ketogenic diet and its super yummy…..meats n veggies and fats!
I absolutey LOVE how real you are, and I’m glad to see you kept true to yourself thru this journey from Top Model. I am going thru the same realization with weight that you are. I just turned 39 and in the last year gained 10 pounds thru no change of my own. My body is starting to talk back, and I realized talking louder isn’t working, so I’m working on what I can, while also accepting a newer type of “normal” for me. You’re not alone. You’re amazing and powerful. Thank-you for being you.
“A” you always look fabulous, he’s one lucky dude. Congrats on your upcoming wedding, & God Bless.
Be weary of certain drugs like birth control, antidepressants and lyrica/gabapentin. Some of those will cause you to gain weight, and it will not come of until you go off of them. Sometimes it won’t even after. I’ve seen depo shots cause a lot of my friends to gain 30 lbs quickly.