Leaving the toxic entertainment industry has been amazing for me. I have been cleansing myself of all the bullshit from that former life. In just 2 weeks, I schedule my explant of my stupid fake boobs for the beginning of 2020. Now, living in the rural mountains of Northwest Montana, I have begun to question why I keep coloring my hair. The answer? I am afraid of what OTHER people will say. I already get told what a has been, washed up nobody loser Avon Lady I am now. I wont lie, when I first gave up Hollywood, it was VERY hard to handle the criticism. My worth was measured ONLY by my level of fame. My husband supported me through it. He told me that he could never have handled what I was going through with the strength and grace that I had. It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me. If he hadn’t told me how much he admired and valued me, I don’t know where I would be right now. He gave me the strength to flip that middle finger again.
He also asks me why I dye my hair I get it.. It never turns out right. The grey hair turns a brassy orange and is a bitch to cover. I LOVE my natural color and have HATED dying it. I ONLY dye the rogue streak and the salt and pepper I have at my temples, nothing else. I HATE doing it. I hate the smell. I hate it bleeding on my towels. In fact, my husband thought I was dirty and nasty when he first came to my apartment and saw a fresh dye towel…all brown…lol. Here I am, someone who fancies myself a hardcore bitch with a “fuck em” mentality…and I am AFRAID of what THEY will say. Who are THEY? A bunch of fuck sticks that never accomplished a goddamn thing in their life so they trash me to feel better about themselves? SO what if I LOOK OLD. I have been battling silver hair since I was 2@! I was on MAXIMS HOT 100 AND Playboys 25 sexiest celebrities in the world WHEN I HAD SILVER HAIR! No one thought I was a Golden Girl then. I simply had some fake ass dye on it.
WHO CARES?
So, I bought a total of 25 bandannas/head scarves. I am reverting back to my days before top model, when my head was always wrapped. It will take a while to grow this out. At first, I was afraid I would be too shocked from too much change. My upcoming surgery will be molding my body back to what it is SUPPOSED to be. I thought a change with my hair might send me into a depression. FUCK THAT. I am tired of conforming to what people THINK I should be or look like. I am tired of worrying about what YOU will think of me. FUCK YOU. I am tired of women being the number one people to tell other women they look old, fat, etc if they don’t sit there and primp themselves into someone they are not. I am tired of telling myself that the REAL ME isn’t good enough. that the REAL ME will LOOK OLD and HAGGARD.
I am getting older. I am proud and happy to be me. I love living in the mountains, I LOVE selling Avon instead of chasing the Dragon in Hollywood…and If you don’t like it, you can kiss my ass.
October 2019 official start. Here I am without makeup and glasses nose grooves…and freshly washed hair.
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Your Beautiful!! As you are you and Matthew are amazing together!! Love your honesty and your amazing spirit!! You are so blessed now , and I will learn Makeup 💄 from you if it kills me I’m tired of looking like a mountain woman with a bushy brows and a mustache 😂, and I don’t wear makeup 💄 but I want to learn and your Avon is amazing 😉!!💕🥰😘🙌
There you are, just being beYOUtiful!
It’s all YOU! And let me just say…it’s the BEST you! It took me until my 50th birthday to feel liberated and confident enough to say, “This is ME!” My husband has ALWAYS loved me for the person I was behind the facade I presented to the public. When I could finally SEE ME through his eyes…everything just felt right. I haven’t looked back. You are beautiful in your natural skin. ENJOY!
Good for you & thank you to the husbeast for being such a loving guy to you that he is helping you embrace all this with love!
Well said you dont need chemicals to be a beautiful person I myself have been through the same thing wondering what people think of me I’m a 500lb guy that obviously doesn’t have the same will as others and I admire you for how strong you are dont change for anyone be you hope your procedure goes great and wish you a speedy recovery
And you are gorgeous inside and out! Love this! True freedom sister!
Good for you!
You are lucky enough to have natural beauty, which many people do not.
And you still look beautiful. God bless.
What a horrible and rude thing to say! I am so sorry you’ve been treated with such disrespect and that needs to stop! I’ve admired you ever since you were my absolute favorite contestant on America’s Next Top Model. You were filled with beauty, sass and fire – and still are! You deserve the happiest life away from all that toxic bullshit! Love you more than ever! Remember that the people who don’t mind matter and that people who mind don’t matter! Love and respect always!
Your beautiful just the way you are..just as nature created you. I am 53 and still color my hair because I fear age and don’t want to look old. I know logically that I should embrace ageing but I just can’t yet. I applaud you for your decision to take it back to natural, and will use your experience as inspiration to do the same.
I always thought Morticia looked fabulous with her streak of white. You will too. You have such gorgeous skin. You will rock this and many peeps will still love you. I will. You got this!!
You can do it! Yes it will take time to grow out but while it does it will look Amazing on you. I’m going on year three of no more toxic touch ups, I love it and I’m so free! And what better time to start than while you are recovering from your ex-plant surgery. The less crap you are exposed to the better for your health. I wish you the best on this new journey and look forward to watching your progress.
I’ve followed you for a long time. What I’ve always admired was how down to earth you always are! I’m not saying this for any other reason than it simply is the truth… That last pic you posted with no make up and fresh washed hair…. Still beautiful! Part of your beauty was always that you never OVER did your make up so that it turned you into something entirely different. There are allot of people out there that wear so much and contour so much that when they take it off you cannot recognize them. You always enhanced your natural beauty, the beauty God gave you. I’m glad you embrace that! 🥰
Why bother with head wrapping? Rock your gray, even when it’s still growing out. That’s part of what makes you beautiful; your new found happiness in romance and attitude that came with it. Wear your grey hairs as a sign of maturity and grace.
Good luck on the explant. Hope all goes well for you.
simply so I dont fall into a depression whilst healing….and because i dig bandannas and used to wear em all the time
Thank you for sharing. We need to embrace the really person that we are, not Hollywood’s definition .
As a 53 year old woman who has worked hard, raised a daughter on my own, completed my undergraduate degree while working full-time and found my true self in my early 40’s, I don’t give AF now about what others think. I ad mire your honesty, your courage to say FU to all of the haters but most importantly, you are embracing yourself as you are. You are beautiful. You are special. There is no one else in this world like you, just like there is no one else in the world like me. Fist pump to all of the courageous women out there who say I am me, and I love me. Exactly, as I am. Take it or leave it. Have a fabulous day!!
I love the authentic Adrianne!! Be the leader you are and rock being YOU! You don’t follow the crowd, which is what I love most about you. You’re a born leader and it takes courage in this day and age with all the self-promoting bullies out there ready to tear others apart for a “pick me up”. Gray hair and wrinkles are part of aging and can be beautiful. To be able to live to tell our life story is what’s most important and intriguing. Being healthy is what looks good on someone no matter what age. I see beauty rocked in all age groups. I follow Silver Disobedience on Instagram. She’s an author, perception analyst, attitude disrupter (lol) who rocks her silver hair also and looks stunning just as you will! Keep rocking on, Adri! It’s admirable! Ignore the haters!
I don’t follow you because you are beautiful. (though you are), I didn’t root for you on ANTM because you were the prettiest. I follow you because of your personality. I rooted for you on ANTM because of your personality. I may have noticed you because of your looks, but that is not why I stayed.
I have followed and admired you for many years. We have the same name, are the same age, and I also married an older man when I was 22. You have been an inspiration to me throughout the years. You are helping me grow and embrace this new stage in life in a graceful manner! You have helped me to remember that my worth and my beauty is not tied to my youth. Thank you for helping me and so many others embrace aging gracefully instead of running or hiding from it. You are one of my favorite people! I only wish the best for you in this new stage of life. I hope 2020 is the best year yet for you!
I stopped coloring my hair 2 yrs ago. Honestly besides shaving my head, it is the most freeing thing I have ever done. I am 36 yrs old with lots if grey and silvery strands of hair. You rock!! So glad you joined the no hair dye club!!
I am a fan of your blogs and everything you have to say, but this black background with white text seriously fucks with my eyes. It makes it difficult for my eyes to adjust after I read it, and I want to read it!
i use FLUX on my computer. it is an app that helps when your eyes are as sensitive as yours. I do not have the 5 thousand dollars to redesign my website!
I’m letting my grey grow in as well. I like the silver streaks among my dark hair. And honestly, I’ve had men compliment my hair more with the natural grey than I ever did before. We’re all growing old, there’s no fighting it. I try to embrace it. I admire the way you’ve grown into yourself. Social media is so damaging to women and you’ve found a way to cut through the BS and focus on what’s real. You’re a gem.
So beautiful inside and out.
A few years ago my hair stylists talked me into letting my hair go natural. I had been having the top hair highlighted blonde and the underneath layer dark brown. The top would look good once in awhile and other times it would be brassy and so unnatural looking. At that time, young ladies In their 20’s and 30’s were paying a lot of money to get their hair colored silver or gray or whatever you want to call it. As my hair grew out, I would go to my hair stylist crying asking her to color my hair silver. She told me no, she would just be putting harsh chemicals on my hair and defeating the purpose of going natural. Fast forward to today, I am so grateful I let go of my what will they think about my hair and I’m completely silver. It is gorgeous and healthy. Sometimes we just need to let our hair go to how it is intended to be. It is only our vanity that feels us shelling out the dollars to have our hair colored. I so try to talk my girlfriends into letting their hair go to no avail. I know one day they will or they will be that 80 year old lady with black hair or red hair or blonde … which if that is what they want to do, so be it … I will continue to rock my silver locks! Oh, and a couple years ago I picked up belly dancing, I am now a professional belly dancer and couldn’t be more happy!
Just do what I do, call them your natural highlights! Mine are scattered around my head.