Forgiving someone does not mean you set yourself up for more pain or mistreatment. It simply means you do not carry a torch of anger and resentment for actions that harmed you.
One of the HARDEST things I have had to do was forgive someone I love who is not sorry at all and feels just in their treatment of me. We haven’t spoken in almost a year and I wish them nothing but the best in this journey of life. However, it became clear they intended to keep harming me through online bullying. I decided to abandon Facebook completely in terms of interacting with friends and family and only keep this fan page going. It simply wasn’t worth the toxicity, stalking or bullying. I spent months crying and staring at walls…completely shattered. It took everything in my SOUL to NOT return anger or accusations…to not bother even responding. Refusing to retaliate…or even attempt to defend myself in any way was the hardest thing I have ever done. When someone feels just in mistreating you, it doesn’t matter what you have to say…or how much you hold a mirror up to them. They won’t care.
Now that I forgave them, I feel pity for their hurt soul. Anger is a thin mask for pain. I still love them, though I no longer see a place for them in my life….no one needs to keep anyone close who means them continued harm. Boundaries are important. Forgiveness does not mean you allow people to cross your personal boundaries…..or mistreat you in any way.