I have fake ass tits…and I hate them.

(edited note: I have decided against using Feng. I didn’t like how her office is run, am not a fan of holistic medicines, etc. Finding a surgeon is a journey. find who YOU are most comfortable with. I am going to Dr Mussat in Chicago for a consult. I want more one on one and have someone touch and poke at these bad boys before making a commitment,. )

The decision has been made. Crystal Hefner suggested her Dr to me in 2016 and I have had it filed since. I kept putting this off, but I can no longer do it. It will cost out the ass, I am sure, but I MUST get these toxic bags OUT of my body! They hurt, I never should have got them and I will continuously warn all women against them. Get a lift. Inject your OWN fat…do not put a foreign sack of toxins in your body! I was young and weak. I convinced myself I was a monster. I let outside forces greatly affect how I felt about myself. I had a SLIGHT size difference (who doesn’t??) and was with someone that pointed it out nonstop and would joke about it. I convinced myself I got them for ME…but I lied to myself. I lied to myself morning, noon and night. I got them because I was ashamed of my real breasts. I believed I was not good enough and allowed others to convince me that my very natural slight size difference…was massive. I stuffed one side of my bra…obsessed in the mirror daily. I would cry over a framed picture my ex kept up of his old fuck buddy (In our house! it was HORRIBLE!) with her huge boobs and her squeezing them together. I brainwashed myself that maybe he would love me and like me as much as the woman he insisted he display in our home. I lost my MIND over what I saw as a HUGE flaw. It wasn’t, as my first Playboy spread and cover can prove. I was fine JUST the way I was. Who gives a shit if one had more mass? In my MIND it was like, 50 cup sizes. It wasn’t. NEVER let ANYONE tell you something is wrong with your body! ESPECIALLY people conditioned to women pumped full of plastic! My first breast job REJECTED. I NEVER recovered. I was in PAIN for 9 months! my left boob DOUBLE boobed. I looked like the chick from total recall!

Joining my left double boob was a SEVERELY capsulated right breast. It sat about 2 to 3 inches higher than me left double boob because it was turning hard as a rock! My tits looked like shit from the moment I unwrapped them. I hid this with shame. I was told to MASSAGE my painful tits to fix them. Yeah. Wanna know what that did? HURT and did nothing! Any interview I did, my pride would NOT permit me to admit this happened to me. I STUPIDLY I allowed my Dr. to convince me I needed a…wait for it…. magical NEW PAIR! Less than a year after my original pricey boob job, I had to get another! This time, they removed a wad of scar tissue from my right breast bigger than a fucking baseball. My boobs look fine now, they do, but I get horrible sharp stabbing pains that feel like I am being shanked with a knife deep into my chest. It gets so bad I drop to my knees even in public. Every breath I take makes it feel like the blade is going deeper and deeper. It’s like that fucking spear head from Hellboy: The Golden Army. Wouldn’t it be awesome if Doug Jones in full “Angel Of Death” garb assisted in my surgery?

I have symptoms of breast implant illness, as well. To top it off? They just linked breast implants with FATAL CANCER. I have been quite vocal about this for a long time. I made a mistake. I have watched other women capsulate, hate their boobs, have to get new ones AND explant. I tried to hide my mistake instead of educating other women not to be as dumb as I was. Not anymore. I promised Matthew after we got married I would seriously look into getting explantation. I have had people suggest I do a documentary. I have been told to go on Botched. I did speak with them, they only wanted to put MORE implants in my body and had no interest in removing mine. That was a HARD PASS from me. Why would I want a THIRD set of fake tits before 40?? A lot of people suggested I start a gofundme, etc etc. I don’t do charity for myself. I made this bad decision…and I want to work for this to happen for me. I will have to Sell More Avon from My Store and build my business more. This would allow me to make extra cash to stash away. However, just recently, I was made aware of a site called Cameo. They allow fans to hire celebs to do personalized videos for them. Well, I have decided I am doing ALL of mine to raise money to get this out of my body. Click Here to Hire Me To DO a Video! 

At least I can give something back whilst people help me earn my way to being fake titty free. I know from Crystal Hefner that it will cost about 15k to go to Dr. Feng in Ohio. She is a doctor that REFUSES to do breast implants and has spoken against them to the FDA. She is the tippity top in getting these out of your body, so I wrote them to start the process. I don’t feel bad doing cameos for money. It’s like comic con autograph signing. If I don’t make much there, I will simply continue my hustle to get this shit OUT.

I am really scared, excited, and this feels surreal. I have EXPLANTED Hollywood from my life.I turn down every new job offered to me, every inquiry if I want representation from agents, etc. This will be the FINAL step in reclaiming my LIFE. This will be true freedom from the toxicity I absorbed there. I already freed my mind of it. It is time to release my body from it. The Dr. I chose is said to be the best in the country for this procedure and has a long wait list, but that gives me time to earn this freedom!

I am fine with being a “has been”. I am fine with being a 36 year old married Avon Lady that lives in the mountains with my husband.

I am fine being ME.