Great title. Not so great reality. I have to wait 6 months before I will know the true fate of my chest, but I have to consider that I may have lost the very thing I was so insecure about I got surgery. In 2006, I got my first boob job. My body completely rejected it IMMEDIATELY. I went to Dr Frank Ryan and left with one double boob (implant had slipped) and the other hard as a rock. I remember telling him I regretted doing this and that I wanted them out. Like many surgeons, he told me I would be very unhappy with my body if I did. (Oddly, the Botched Drs that are now on board with explanting once told me I was “too young” to do that to my body and they only offered me a revision, which I declined in 2016?) I was convinced that “drains” were all I needed and if I got those, my body would finally be ok with implants. I was SO unhappy. One year after my first set, I was getting my 2nd. I just didn’t have the balls I do now and didn’t fight for what I REALLY wanted…them OUT. I figured the Dr knew far more than I did….but then again, he went and butchered Heidi Montag…..so did he? (she is lovely, I refer to the 80 surgeries she got in a day). I liked the dude, he was very nice…but his work never ever looked lovely on me, honestly.
When I awoke, I was told they removed a baseball sized wad of scar tissue from my left breast. Bye bye, real titty. Fast Forward. The top Dr in Beverly Hills was still unable to give me a nice chest. I looked like a monster. Scars, hard as a rock, just NOT what a woman thinks she is going to get when she shells out the cash for plastic surgery. Hey, Tara Reid! I fucking FEEL YOU, girl! Of course, I am told that I somehow did this. Had I Harry Pottered them a little more, begged Aslan for his help, had Gandalf The White on my side, then I would have had the titties I paid for.
I paid enough to buy a decent car on two sets of shitty tits from the top surgeon in Beverly Hills. I was surrounded by plastic, the closest people in to me so judgmental of EVERYTHING (“oh! one is bigger than the other, did you EVER notice, Adri??”) Hell, I remember the ex fuck buddies of who I was currently with CONSTANTLY coming up just to say “HI!”, with their ginormous porn star racks and big blown up lips. People I dated were full of HGH , filler and botox….it was everywhere! I did NOT fit into LA. My insecurities in that world were immense. I am GLAD my boobs botched so I didn’t stupidly alter anything else!
Fast forward to a week ago. 2 surgeries..one explant one emergency surgery because my body was a dick and gave me a hematoma. I went back to Dr. Mussat (who is fucking amazing and says she has no interest in doing breast implants on women anymore because of chicks like me and my health issues with ruptured shitty implants)…and she assessed my boobs. I can tell she did a stellar job, but that right titty has me and her wondering. She said she had to remove so much scar tissue, she was worried I may have NO TITTY LEFT. Do you ladies HEAR THAT SHIT? All of you women not happy with your bodies thinking plastic surgery is some how gonna fix that? I have to wait 6 months and see what my final form is to assess if I even have a fucking BOOB left. I went in because THAT boob made me insecure. From ex shitty lovers pointing it out and laughing about it as I cried, to stuffing the fucking bastard on red carpets…..that BEAUTIFUL slightly smaller titty may have went the way of the DoDo. She said if it happens, I can do fat transfer…but after my body said FUCK YOU to me AGAIN..and gave me a hematoma and a second surgery in one day a week ago….I don’t know about that noise. Mussat wondered if Dr Ryan had left my OLD IMPLANT from my original surgery in my right titty, as it was a weird color, etc. I certainly paid for a new one. We will never know, he passed away sending texts on his phone in Malibu when he accidentally drove off a cliff.
She removed HALF of my favorite titty in an attempt to even me out…if my left titty decides to come back from the dead. HALF OF MY GOOD TITTY! I fucking felt sad, man. How many years had I angled my body in photos for her to featured? I had lost an old friend. Now, that itty bitty right titty, I look back….she was fucking lovely too. No one goes and gets a procedure thinking they will be the butchered patient. Everyone believes THEY are “THE ONE” and everything will look great. Having lived in LA, I cannot tell you how many AWFUL tit jobs I have seen backstage at fashion shows, etc. SCARS, mutations…you just don’t get it. i have seen more BAD titty jobs than good ones…and in LA/entertainment…I have seen a SEA of tits. girls who spent out the ASS to get sliced and diced to look good ONLY in clothes…cause that shit is WEIRD looking out of them.
In other news, I did NOT take a pain killer last night before bed because I am annoyed with them. My body is paying for it today, but I don’t want to turn into one of those “She was so active, vibrant and successful till she got her prescription!” cases. Fuck that noise.
Ladies, don’t butcher your lovely, soft, bouncy REAL titties! Never let ANY man (or lady!) make you feel less than for your body, and always question what someone tells you about your body who isn’t happy with theirs that they nip, tuck, juice etc themselves!!” Also, all joking aside, I am fucking HORRIFIED that this might be a possibility for me. I have wept the last few days and I want to hope for the best….but have to consider the worst if I want to be realistic. For those assholes bombarding me with “You did this to yourself”! NO SHIT, YOU FUCK FACE! Imagine sitting there…realizing your idiocy at the age of 23 may have possibly condemned your fucking BALL/TIT. It aint an easy pill to swallow. Like leaving Hollywood with my hunk and eventually selling Avon (which I started after my myomectomy on pain killers, I might add..lol) wasn’t enough ammunition for people who want to poke at me and tell me what a NOTHING and NOBODY I am. Now I am that old, purposely graying, possibly ONE TIT former model who formerly married and divorced America’s Favorite Family dick head who can’t stop marrying people…I just got EVERYTHING going on for me over here.
The thing is, I do. I have the sexiest, most compassionate hunk of a man who jokes with me and supports me. I have friends and family who love me. I have a minor platform I can use to sway women away from making the mistakes I have. Even if I end up weeping at the end of 6 months because I lost a titty….or throw a party for my titty coming back from the dead….I will be good. That is what I keep telling myself, over and over. I married my best friend. I left that shit soup of insecurities. Whatever I have to face in 6 months, I can fucking do it.
I might cry a lot while I do, but I will do it.
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You are NOT a nothing nor a nobody, you are WARRIOR QUEEN!! No matter if you have titties, bitty titties, lopsided titties or NO titties, you are still a WARRIOR QUEEN and you are beautiful!!
You are so strong and brave for doing all of this in the public eye. Most of us girls are already so insecure with our bodies and to have all of your insecurities open for the world to see takes a lot of “balls”
Cheers to you Adri! Keeping my fingers crossed that your boob decides to come back to life 🤞🏻❤🙏🏻
Adri you are so strong and amazing for sharing this, I hope people read this and if they are considering getting implants they see what can happen!!!!! Love ya girl!!
Thank you for your inspiration Adrianne! So happy you are in a good place in your life. I am 38 and am FINALLY getting over worrying about looking the way that other people deem beautiful. That said, if you need some extra fat to help resurrect your titty, my love handles are all yours! xoxo
I wanted to say how much I admire your honesty. Your using the platform you have to be real and I for one applaud that. I hope everything with your recovery goes well and that you get your health back. Health and love are the most important things in life.
All that shit is the price you paid to get where you are now. With the love of your life living in the best place. Would you have got here otherwise I never thought of you as a collection of tits and ass but was impressed by your personality which shone through all the dross. Live well and laugh at all the fakes that are so unhappy beneath the veneer they present
I loved this honest article! LOVED IT. More people need to know the harm all of these surgeries do to the human body. Ive seen some FUCKED UP SHIT straight off the plane as a Massage Therapist asking me to “help” drain or “fix” some shit. Post surgery is HORRIBLE. Keep pushing on! ❤❤❤ (also my boobs fluctuate with my weight. I hope this happens for you as well)
I’ve been a fan for years now and I personally could give two sh*ts about what you look like, yes you’re very pretty but damnit you are funny and nerdy and I seriously relate to your personality! Adrianne I sincerely hope everything works out for you and your body, but titty or no titty you are still going to be the awesome person you always have been.
I’m sorry you’re having a tough time with the news. You have shown your resilience and I hope that it keeps up. Praying everything gets better for you. You have a great support group as well!
I hope you do feel a bit better when others tell you you saved their life. As opposite as you and I are, you have become a saving grace to me. I’ve always been very small and it’s always been a huge insecurity for me. I’m nearly 50, slightly bigger since I was in my 20’s, breast fed, but they are still very much perky and my husband loves them. i contemplated having surgery but your willingness to be open stopped me cold and has me appreciating me. Self love is something I’ve struggled with all my life. I now love me and won’t harm myself.
I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds for you.
I commend you for having the courage to not only go through the explant surgery but to be real about all of the problems you have had since the implants went in. Your story is going to help a lot of young ladies think about the decision to have implants and I hope they heed your warning and think long and hard. Thanks for your story. I know that you will help many women change their minds. Heal fast Adrianne.
we women are so hard on each other AND ourselves.
You’re An inspiration Adrianne! You will look stunning no matter the outcome! So glad you got out of fake LALA LAND! Living only 30 miles from there I see the fake ass people constantly but remember the price they pay….it’s NOT happiness that’s for sure. Hang in there girl, you got this!💪🏻
I am so proud of you for ditching the fake and embracing the real.
You are so strong! I’m so glad you are doing this. Your story will help a lot of women!
Thank you for this. I am a 29 year old who boobs and stomach skin dont look great at all 3 years after having my son. He is the most beautiful thing in the world but my body doesn’t look anything like it used to. My husband loves my body as it is but I’ve been contemplating the “mommy make over” that everyone talks about. This has seriously changed my mind. I am instead going to work on loving all the extra skin on my stomach from the belly growth during my very hard pregnancy. (I was very sick and lost weight during instead of gain, so my belly skin too the brunt of the stretching bc no fat anywhere) After an emergency c-section my son was healthy and safe they got to work on me bc I hemorrhaged and my BP tanked out to almost nothing. Luckily we both made it through. Your story has completely taken the idea of the mommy make over out of my head. Your right about society, 2 months after I had my son I had people asking me when I was going to start “trying to get back to my before baby body”. Something I have now realized isn’t something I want, its what everyone else wants. Ill take my saggy empty sack looking stomach and my longer hanging boobs, healthy little boy and call it a day. Thank you for sharing, reading this really did close that door completely for me. Ive been a fan since the 1st ANTM and always will. Your a true inspiration. Thank you.
My dad always tells me that life experiences can be the most expensive learning out there. Haters are going to keep saying their rude things. What they don’t get because of their shit asshat attitude, is that even though you had ppl and insecurities leading you then, you have grown and learned. Now you’re sharing your story, and I hope others will learn from your testimony. I love that you’re advocating against plastic surgery. I hope recovery goes well, physically and mentally.
You are more valuable than a thousand bouncy titties, don’t ever forget that. It’s okay to feel sad, though. We know you’ve got this and it will be handled with grace and humor.
I was telling my therapist that I recently found you online and how much you inspire me just for being real. I haven’t been in therapy for long, but now find myself having to deal with all of the crap from my past. I’ve hated myself for a long time and really for no good reason other than how I look. It’s how I grew up. Ugly, fat, all words that were thrown around all the time. You’re real, and you’re helping people. You really are. But, the reality is, you’re witty, hilarious, smart, and incredibly brave, and I, for one, would want someone like that in my life versus anyone with fake anything and nothing else to offer the world. You got this.
Very true, we are hard on each other but worst than that is that we are hard on ourselves. I can forget a negative comment or even brush off a harsh action but the worst is when I cant keep my own mind in a positive mind frame and stopping putting myself down. I think now that I am older (perhaps wiser) and have some experiences that have helped me grow as an individual women, who can honesty say that what others think about me is not going to alter who I am. However I will question why a they think this or that of me, I will analyze my behavior and consider my own action. If I realize I had fault I will use try my best to change my behaviors to be better person but if after I have realized that my reaction was logical because I was offended or defended myself than I will be okay with that decision and move on. I have no time to waste and most of all I wont waste your time trying to fake your friendship with me. I stopped a long time ago trying to please people or do as other want from me- this is my short life span and I’ll do what makes me happy. The pressures to be beautiful for the outside to see aren’t important facts to me anymore. I only desire to be happy within, be content with myself, and hopefully look decent in the process with a pink lip and mascara. You got this Adri! You are strong women. You are beautiful within (and outside too). I can see it, (literally), and you can too.
Adrianne,don’t cry. Find all the reasons to be thankful. Say thank you thank you thank you a million times a day. It is hard to be sad when you are living in gratitude. You are so much more than your body, you’re cutting the toxic shit out of your life wherever it is. The fact that you have evolved to this place is worthy of major gratitude. Whatever happens in six months will teach you something. Get excited and grateful for the lessons you will learn, they are all meant to be. I wish you well on your journey.
You are amazing!
You are beautiful!
You are lovely!
You are strong!
You are an inspiration!
I admire you for sharing your story!
Thank You!
thank you for being so open and honest regarding ANY cosmetic surgery. i been a fat girl my WHOLE life and some people at work have had gastric bypass (some good results and some just awful) and i really was considering it but i’ve had stomach issues my whole life and don’t think it would help me. also thanks for showing us what a real man does in a relationship (support, communicate and love unconditionally) . I been following you now since i came across old episodes of “the surreal life” and remembered how cool you were lol found you in IG and didn’t think it was possible but you are more cooler now than ever lol thanks for speaking up girl !
Hi Adrianne,
I watched u win top model. I have followed you for some time. Then I stopped ( not for any particular reason, but perhaps our interests didn’t quite match) but I found you again in your early Avon phase finding it interesting how you were changing your life. I saw your explanation plans. I’m sorry your recovery is such a physical but also mental journey. Nothing is easy for sure, but in just one day, I am have a mastectomy of my left breast. After feeding three beautiful babes it has double crossed me. So I find your info that you have put out there , inspiring, motivating and encouraging. Even tho you’re sitting on the cusp of misery sometime, I imagine, you are reaching people. I was so upset about how I’m gonna look. And reconstruction is at least a year away for me. I hope that with stories like yours in a year from now I may not even want reconstruction.
I hope the best for you and your titties. But over all I just hope you end up with satisfaction with your decisions going forward.
No comment other than everything you said is spot on. Hang in there. Mourn the old boobs and learn to love the new ones.
Long time reader – first time comment. Have you considered submitting this story to a larger audience? Medium? This is a powerful story more people need to hear. You’re a great writer with great eyebrows. Who cares about tits in the snow. X
You’re an inspiration. Sending you lots of healing vibes during the next 6 months <3
people have always just picked up my stuff for press if they feel like it, I suppose
i hope the best for you and yours!I doubt i can bare doing anything else to myself…..and as someone who suffered health issues due to implants, I would advise you steer clear of them!
I have never understood the obsession with big tits. I’ve been lucky enough in my life to be with quite a few women in my lifetime and the women with small breasts are, on average, much better in bed. Psychologists say it’s to make up for something they think they are missing but whatever it is, it’s amazing. A wise man once told me “All you need is a mouthful” and boy was he right. Plus women with smaller than D are usually much more active and healthier since they don’t have back problems, etc.
You are awesome and brave. I never had implants, but if i had the money i would have. Thank goodness i never had that extra cash. You are selfless and beautiful for trying to save women the torture you endured.
I’m only a guy, I hope that you can see that you are more than the physical parts of your body. Bravo Matt for standing by your woman.
.z in boston
I wish i could just give you a big fat but gentle hug. I have always admired your genuineness ( I’m not sure if that is even a word). I live the fact that you don’t care what people think. It may have taken you little while to get to this point, but it’s better late than never at all. I have admired your personality and most of all your heart since i saw you on ANTM. I’m very glad you have finally found yourself and on top of that a wonderful man to share your life with. May God continue to bless you now and forever. Lots of love and blessings from El Paso, Texas
Thanks for sharing, I’ve enjoyed your posts sharing your experiences. Hopefully you’ll mend quickly.
I’m pretty sure there are serial numbers on implants. That may tell you if the discolored implant was the original or a new one as promised.
As far as your breast tissue is concerned, I wonder if stem cell injections would stimulate tissue growth. I know it’s becoming more and more common for fixing damage on other areas of the body, but don’t know if it would work in that area. Perhaps it’s worth the research.
Way to purge that shite out. What I finally had to come to grips with is.. It’s not a perfect world. We are the decisions we make and at one point in time it was exactly what we wanted to do. Never regret the past Adrianne. Only the strongest souls get tested this hard. You are a voice that so many others will hear and heed the info about the life experiences you’ve had. Thanks for sharing so others might be spared from horrors of botched surgeries. Effin shame , and sorry this happened to you. Godspeed the healing and may your little friend reappear in 6 months. Chin up pretty gurl..! ❤️🔥💯👍🏼
Thank you, lady <3
Dude…you May have lost your “titties” this year but you grew some balls!! It takes a lot of courage and strength to put the truth out there the way you do. I’m just sorry that you had to endure so much on your journey. I hope that when you’re six months is up you can relax and just enjoy your life with your awesome husband. Prayers for a happy ever after ❤️
Awww my girlie… you may have said goodbye and lost the tatas, but you’ve gained so much back in regards to your health and overall well being.. AND you are so freaking beautiful inside and out in epic proportions. Continue to heal well and keep us updated sweet lady🥰👍❤️
Adrianne, I cannot comprehend what you are going through. This six month healing process must be painful, physically & mentally. I truly hope your recovery process will bring you peace. You truly deserve it. God bless you. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Oh thank you so much for being real about what you are going through, and I’m so sorry you are going through this aftermath. I’ve always admired your chutzpah, ever since the show.
I want to tell you that I’ve got the natural titties but I don’t have the hunk, haven’t for a year and counting. And I’d probably trade places with you in a heartbeat. I know you’re going through a lot right now but you have a great loving support team with you and that’s enviable!
Thank you, Mrs Adrianne for you. You have been so honest, take no bullshit, calling out bullshit as you see it, and your wit, humor, graciousness and everything else I’m blanking on at the moment.
I’ve only recently started following you (that sounds so stalker-ish) in the past couple of years. you have been sweet when you’d reply to my posts here and there.
I’d like to say speedy recovery, but don’t push it. When you think you’ve healed up enough to do something, go slowly.
Good luck with everything. I wish you the breast life has to offer kiddo!
Thank you for sharing your story! It speaks to my heart on so many levels. I also had my first set of implants at age 23. Fast forward 15 years I decided to have them removed after realizing they were making me sick. I have dealt with so many insecurities surrounding my body throughout my life. Having the implants removed totally fucked with my head. Along with the weight I have gain recently it is hard to stay optimistic and feel sexy. I know we are all hard on ourselves in general and I am trying not to be. I really make an effort to speak kindly to myself. As women we need to life each other up. You are a beautiful women and person! What is on the inside matters the most. Who you are and how you live your life and who you surround yourself with makes you who you are. Not a set of silicone bags!! Sending love your way.
XOXO
Alicia J.
Adrianne,
You are a Rock Star!! Do not waste any more time crying. You look amazing. You are thin and athletic, and you can rock a flat chest. Keep inspiring the world. You are brave and beautiful. 🤘🏻
I love you, Adrianne, you’re so cool and REAL. Love to you. <3