Curing My Narcissism

The Story of Narcissus and Echo

read the above story for a great lesson.

Since making the decision to stop marketing myself in a “sexy” way and refocus my life, my eyes have been opened to many things. One, most of us on social media are insufferable narcissists. If it isn’t jamming our political opinions down each others throats, it’s our nonstop need for likes, followers and endless validation. Picture after picture, post after post….we are all so desperately trying to get attention. It’s like those annoying assholes that sing loudly in public. Its embarrassing how desperately they are trying to draw attention to themselves. For the most part, that is our accounts in a nutshell. Each of us posting are “Narcissus” and our likes, comments and followers are “Echo”.

We can’t have a day out with our girls without taking pics to show off online. We can’t share a meal with our partner without a pic to show everyone. Almost every single thought or activity in our lives we MUST document for the world to see. Social Media has turned us all into insatiable narcissists. Here and there, fine….but man! To top it all off, most the pics are staged. Candids no longer exist in a world based on who is wearing what, who is with who, etc.

I was guilty. I needed to snap shots of every activity. I needed to concoct witty thoughts to tweet out for likes. No longer needing to push “my brand” for work purposes really opened my eyes to how fucking silly I looked. After this realization, I could see it reflected in most the people I saw on the internet. Celebrity, behind the scenes or just plain soccer mom, the desperation for attention was clear as day.

I’ve seen friends buy followers. I’ve watched as fake bots left fake comments on their pages so they could have the illusion they are bigger than what they are. I’ve seen girls do what I did, constantly posting half naked shots for that addiction of likes and follows. I see women pretending they are showing off something but are really trying to pop their butt for some thirsty dudes. Many people don’t even do this to make money. If they do, it isn’t enough to justify this level of narcissism.

I was a insufferable attention whore desperate to keep booking work. I allowed my morality and belief system to become warped in my desperation to remain relevant and book gigs. No longer.  Lately, you’ve seen a lot less flesh when it comes to me. However, I am working on a lot less tweets and Facebook posts. I need to learn that my validation does not come from likes, followers or people saying how sexy I look. I need to cleanse myself of the narcissistic motivations that drove me.

Avon. My guy. Our pets. The wilderness. I’m finding my core. I am tapping into my true self again. I am not setting up selfies on timers of me working out or bending over pretending to clean.

I am in narcissist recovery. I cannot fathom how hard it is to be a kid now days with this shit!

 

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