Top model blog follow up

In regards to my top model blog post “let it go already.” and “why is she bringing this up now?” are things I’ve heard repeated. One, I was being asked if I would make an appearance now that top model is on VH1. I figured explaining old news would enlighten those wondering why i wouldnt, VH1 having been my home for so long…and top model never showing me when showing past winners. Two, I no longer care to pursue entertainment. I quit the business, run my avon store and ran away to the mountains with the love of my life. Getting on the next show, etc. to extend my earning ability is the last thing I’d want for me or us. Hollywood destroys real love. I dont really care what the repercussions are of just tossing my truth out there. It doesnt affect my new life.

Lastly, Imagine you’re in Vegas. You pull the lever and you hit on the slot machine! Everything lights up, a crowd forms and everyone congratulates you…you walk up to the cashier with your receipt to collect your earnings. They never pay you. You’re mad about it. Then, the very people who applauded your win say you should just be grateful for the opportunity they gave you at having people look at your face and feeling that moment of winning…let it go and move on.

Now. Times this by a zillion…and that is what it feels like when you win a big prize on national television and you never get it. Even if you get over it, as I have….it will always be something you bring up in your life … When your buddy complains the contactor never installed the handles they payed for….or that guy sold him a 2k lemon of a car…you get to one up em with “I won one of the biggest television competitions in the world and never got my prize. ”

Admit it, its the Ace in my hilarious card deck. If you cant laugh or look back at the events in your life…what kind of life is it?



  1. God I feel rage for you, on your behalf, but it’s a blessing that you’ve found your own solace and peace away from ‘Hollow-wood’ despite the whole saga. I’m just shocked at the dishonesty and predation in the industry, particularly as this show features very young women with little industry experience or knowledge.

    I have some girlfriends who have been on the Australian incarnation of ANTM, and although none of them won or experience the level of betrayal you did, they certainly have their tales to tell about the exploitative vampiric nature of the industry (or at least this franchise).

    It’s never more visible than in the former top model contestants whose lives have been utterly derailed – Mirjana, Renee, Jael, Angelea, Lisa – these are only those tragic enough that we hear about them, but I’m quite sure there have been many girls (and guys) chewed up and spat out by the Top Model conveyor belt.

    My point is – not you. You were promised 15k and much more, and you should have received every bit of it regardless of whatever PR excuse they consoled themselves with. But at least you survived it. Maybe that’s the real prize in the end.


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