I have gone my entire life afraid to build boundaries. I’ve felt taken for granted and taken advantage of because I struggle to say no. I’ve allowed myself to be treated in ways I do not find acceptable AT ALL because I was afraid to set my boundaries. There have been times I felt worn thin..and spent…simply from having to do things I couldn’t see a way out of. I couldn’t understand how people could ask so much of me…or treat me in a way I’d never treat them.
That ends now. I will be 35 in august. If someone treats me a way I do not find acceptable, I will not tolerate it. If someone starts pressuring me to do something I do not want to do…i will NOT fold. Had I been better setting my boundaries…i would never have had to go out into the cold desert underdressed with no sleep to shoot guns when I didn’t want to. I would still have the vision I lost in my eye due to the virus I caught when I got sick. I did not want to do that. I allowed myself to be guilted into doing it…and now, I’ve lost 50% of my vision in my left eye.
I will be a better and less resentful person if I refuse to do things for people that I do not want to do. I will be a happier and more joyful soul if I refuse to let people say, do or pressure me in ways I don’t find acceptable. Was I being pressured hard? Not always…i thought I had to be the best person I could be to others. I was raised very very Christian. Just because I don’t practice the religion doesn’t mean it’s teachings aren’t burned into my brain.
Do you find yourself having lived the same struggle?