Myomectomy update w/pics

Getting this procedure done was a heavy decision for me. I had been suffering from my fibroid smashing in my bladder and ruining my quality of life with dripping and constant urges to pee.  I got my birth control changed ( right before my surgery!) to try to stop the bleeding I had been suffering and it wigged me out.  I think a lot of people don’t understand what introducing new hormones to your body can do. I felt crazy and oddly alone.

To top it off, I  was really really scared. I’ve associated the feeling of going under to what death must be like without an afterlife…simply winking out of existence. I was afraid to go under because I had an irrational fear that I might die. I was afraid to lose my ability to take care of myself and afraid to put the heavy burden of caring for me on the shoulders of another.

Fast forward 6 days post op. I’m sore. I’ve been constipated nonstop so I have to rely on laxatives.  I’m almost out of my pain meds, but I don’t want anymore. They’re so addictive,  and after the breakup I went through at this same exact time last year due to the madness of prolonged opiod use, I am unwilling to jeopardize my life for limited relief. I have been fighting feeling isolated, but have had my friends to lean on via text and phone calls, as well as my Mom. One of My oldest friends is coming to visit me this weekend. The irony is, I came to her a year ago when her husband tragically passed. I’m really happy to see her and get to leave my home!!! I’m hoping to go to the movies..they have reclining chairs so I won’t be too uncomfortable. I just want to go somewhere! Lol . My stupid cat is affectionate here and there…though, I wish that stupid fucking mew would just sit in my lap and love me! Why are cats such assholes!?

Now, let’s talk about my body! I blew up like a blimp. I went into surgery 144 lbs and came out 156lbs!!!! Everything hurt from the water retention. Pair that up with my inability to take a shit with opiod use…and it was pure misery! I could flick parts of my body and watch them jiggle for up to 3 seconds.  I don’t feel beautiful…i feel like I’ve been dragged behind a pickup truck for a few miles. Last night, I decided to start selling avon to occupy my mind as I heal. I’m really stoked to get my starter kit and start reviewing stuff online. I enjoy reviewing…and I really enjoy makeup….so boom! My grandma ordered everything from them..so it made me feel like she’s here.

I wish I could jump in my car and take myself for a ride, but I don’t trust my body if an emergency happened and I had to slam on my breaks. I started watching breaking bad as I anxiously await my Avon starter kit! It’s such a great show. I can feel the stitches poking inside. Laughing, coughing, sneezing…its torture!! I wondered today if I could flex my abs…i almost died. What a stupid idea!

It’s hard for me to be laid up. I’ve always prided myself in being strong and doing everything for myself and others. A sparkling home brings me joy. Feeling strong and working out makes me so happy inside! I know I’ll get there again…its just hard to watch the world continue around you while you just sit there…bored.

And that is why I’ve decided to share all of this. Dealing with women’s issues is not easy. People dont understand what a mental toll they take on your body and mind…ESPECIALLY you Mom’s! I cannot fathom having a baby who needs you while you feel this way…and an overwhelmed hubby that gets flustered. You guys are fucking superstars! In a way, I had a baby…it was just in tumor form…i named it Tyrion…and as of today, I learned it WAS NOT CANCER!!!! They suspected it wasn’t…but you have no idea how happy that made me to hear!!! I slap makeup on to look presentable and to feel better…everything I do leaves me feeling very tired.

My post op is May 8th. I can’t wait to hear what the doctor will clear me for then!

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22 Comments

  1. Hey, I’m 4 weeks post op so slightly ahead in recovery terms (I’ve been blogging to so feel free to check them out). It really is a rollercoaster journey but you’ll get there. I swam today for the first time only 25m but it felt like a huge step forward.

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  2. You’re a super star “A”. For what you’ve been through, you’re still gorgeous. Take your time & mend. Don’t rush Mother Nature . Here’s to you getting back to shitting normal…. cheers , and Boba Boey to ya’ll

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  3. I’d say for day 6 your doing pretty damn well! It’s awful waiting for results to come back. Congratulations by the way for negative results, that’s awesome news! Your days will slowly get better. Each day you’ll feel a little better than the last. I’ve had all 3 of my children via sections, girl I feel your pain!

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  4. Just know that you’re an amazing person. Surgery sucks and I’ve had lots of them. So happy you don’t have cancer. I found out a couple of days ago that my dad has prostate cancer and I know he will beat it. Take care lovely woman.

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  5. Wonderful news!! I’m sure you were plenty scared waiting for those lab results…now you can take a big sigh of relief and just relax. Healing is a bitch, but you got this!

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  6. Love that you share your life with us. You’re in my prayers for speedy healing and relief. Believe me you are not alone and having just had surgery myself, I totally get how you’re feeling. You’re such an inspiration! ❤️❤️❤️

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  7. So happy for no cancer…you made me giggle because I am going through this too except mine is in hip. I went 9 days without going to bathroom and I think Dr is going to have to call in Golightly for me to drink to be able to go. My surgery was almost 3 weeks ago and still having discomfort and can’t do anything…I hate being in this house 24/7…feel free to video message anytime if you need someone to talk to…Happy healing…

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  8. That scar is minimal like mine was. Many happy happy joy joys on it being negative! Yes don’t drive & hold the seat belt away from your belly while in the car trust me or you will suffer… I had our 4th child via csection & my scar is noticeable if you really look hard. Your’s is the same size as mine but mine is much lower. I don’t have the phantom itching or pain like other women experienced though. That comforte numbing gel would do amazing for the discomfort & pain your feeling. It does work I don’t know how it manages to get down through the layers of skin but it makes you feel better. I hate pain pills too, I don’t like the feeling of not being in control or feeling weird. I’ve never done drugs & wouldn’t be able to be an addict because my body doesn’t tolerate pain meds or other things people find addictive. Bend over before getting up from sitting or getting into bed & roll over when getting out of bed to afford excessive strain. I learned this the hard way the first week. Rest up be careful & take it easy. Easiesr said than done I know. Hey at least you don’t have 3 kids & a newborn to tend to during this time like I did.

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  9. I was rear ended 4 weeks after hernia repair surgery, from a hernia that occurred after my tumor removal and hysterectomy. 3 months out from the fix to everything, I don’t wear the lap strap for the seat belt still. I buckle the belt, get in the seat, and pull the shoulder strap over. Best thing for my piece of mind right now for sure! Maybe try a cannabis topical for pain relief. That is the only thing I used after my surgeries and it was wonderful! As for the hormones, and really for healing from the surgery, be nice to yourself!! Hormone therapy and finding the right mix can be tough. I take bio – identical synthetics that are made from plants. Finding the correct dosage for replacement can be hard and make you feel like someone high jacked your head, thoughts, and emotions. The hardest thing is to remember to be nice to yourself and not overly hard on yourself because you’re healing. Not get discouraged and overdo it because you’re used to accomplishing more. Give yourself as much love and understanding as you would if it was someone you loved was going through the same thing and not be too hard on yourself. I know you’ll rock the shit out it!

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  10. Thank you so much for being so candid and sharing your experience. I thought beautiful models who are in tip top shape never got fibroids. I thought mostly women with extra poundage or who aren’t very active or fit get them and so I was kind of hating my life blaming myself and my lousy genetics. You write in such an informative and entertaining manner. I have 6 freakin fibroids so I’ll probably eventually go the hysterectomy route, but now I sort of know what to expect. 🙂 Sending you great vibes, wishing you the best of health, and looking forward to reading more great pieces written by you.

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  11. I hope your recovery goes quick and smooth. So you can put all this behind you. I have watched you mature so much over the years. I find you a fascinating and beautiful woman and thank you for putting your life out there for us all to see. ALmost feel like I know you

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