I think it’s easy to fall into a depression. I think it’s even easier to blame said depression on anything and everyone around you. After my grandma died, I spent a year feeling sorry for myself and blaming the world for my pain.
Then, I read the whole “positive thinking creates a positive environment” quotes. The concept of faking it till you made it was foreign to me. However, realizing one person or one event did not have the power to make me unhappy was eye opening. I began to be able to switch moods minutes upon taking them on. I’d wake miserable and begin to look at everything in a negative light….only to stop myself and switch that mood immediately. It really works. I no longer gave myself the right to dwell or to let one thing ruin my days or weeks. Some people thought it was fake…and at first, it was…but smiling when your sad…being upbeat when you don’t feel like it…youd be surprised at how quickly your mood will change!
After years, I no longer have to fake it. I am just happy to be alive and to be blessed with the people I have in my life. I am far from perfect. The last month has not been easy for me. Hard decisions, hormone changes, conflicting opinions and many other things have been a negative thorn in my side. However, I chose to occupy myself with something that makes me HAPPY! It’s why I signed up for Avon. It reminds me of all the times I ordered it with my Grandma when I was young and JUST starting to wear makeup. She always got a berry colored lipstick and blush. She thought eye makeup made you look like a “lady of the night” lol.
Anyway. I’ve taken a situation I could dwell on, feel sorry for myself and point the finger at others for my feeling bad….and said ” FUCK THAT!” and I am turning a negative situation into a positive. I am passionate about makeup. I wouldn’t mind making a little money to help even out the score on my purchases…and it’s something I can happily lose myself in while my body tries to catch back up with my mind after this surgery. Not being able to drive…and needing help on the toilet can be a little draining after a while. I’m trapped. I have no way of going anywhere…and I needed to keep my sanity!