A few years ago, I straight up threw a wrench in my career. It was my only focus in my life since i was 19. I completely changed my wardrobe, I stopped taking sexy pictures for press and attention. I was inspired when Matthew saw a pic of his Mother and I and flattered me for looking so demure. People in the industry unfollowed my accounts. Work dried up immediately. I tried to rebrand myself, but it didn’t work. People only wanted to see me be sexy and outrageous. Sex symbol does NOT work for happy and healthy relationships. Look at Jenny McCarthy, Carmen Electra, even Christie brinkley…none have had lasting relationships. Jealousy is a very real thing. Having people fawn and throw themselves all over your mate is not going to help anyone. That is why people usually don’t last in entertainment. I was not going to put myself in front of us.
I realized my career was NOT more important than my happiness in my life. Fame did not make me happy. Fame is not more than my beautiful home with my amazing guy in the perfect mountain town. A lot of people have said I’m crazy for dropping the ball….but I feel like I’ve gained so much more in my life. Sacrifices have to be made. You can’t pursue a selfish goal if you are a team with someone. I can’t have the career I wanted in entertainment and have a happy home life. If I do end up doing anything, it would be with him as a team….outside of my own blog.
I don’t regret it. I’ve been happier these last few years than I have ever been in my life with Matthew Rhode. It’s been nice protecting our team…and keeping it safe from the pitch forks and psychos. He’s worth more to me than all the gold in the shire.